Thursday, January 29, 2015

We lost another sister-in-law today.

Mark & Clara
My brother and his wife Clara.  May 2009

The past almost year, seems to be full of hard times for family members of ours. This time it's my brother's wife we lost.  They say things come in threes...does that mean we will get a break now since this is the 3rd we lost in the last year?

Clara, my sister-in-law, was in kidney failure, and spent several weeks in the hospital, till they finally almost kicked her out this last Monday, because she was on a swing bed system the last three weeks, and wasn't "improving" like I guess she had to do, if she was to stay there. (They were giving her physical therapy to try and get her up on her feet again...that's what wasn't improving.)  With no other place my brother could afford to put her, my parents put a hospital bed in their living room, and settled in to take care of her with a little help from me.

Since she was to have dialysis three times a week, my brother purchased an older van with a wheelchair lift so we could get her in to her appointments, since she was now totally unable to walk (since she went into the hospital...although truthfully she wasn't walking to well before she went in), and therefore unable to get in and out of a car. We used it all of two times for her...once to get her home from the hospital and then in to one dialysis appointment.  :(

Clara and I weren't close like sisters, but she was family, and since we moved back here close to her we had some good times as a family getting together for game night and holidays.  (Game night was HER ...really good...idea!)  Sadly it only lasted a year or so before she was unable to get out to come to it...or even see to play the games as she was also loosing her eye sight.

After Clara couldn't come to game night, my parents decided winter wasn't a good time to try and get out at night...so we put game night on hold, and somehow last summer things were so busy for me, I never started them back up again. Hopefully I will manage to do better when spring comes...but as we all know, only time will tell on that one since I'm not exactly good at keeping up with things lately. LOL

Over the years that Clara was married to my brother (16 years), I learned she could be blunt, and say things I wouldn't to people, but we learned that was just her way. She had a kind side, least to certain people at times, that I have seen more of since we moved back here. She was always worried about my Mom which I was always glad to see.

She was a strong, opinionated woman, which doesn't always work, but it didn't seem to bother her when it didn't, she still went her own way. While I didn't always agree with her, I had to admire how she stood up for herself, which is something I could be better at. She was generous, always wanting to bring something to contribute to game night or planning and funding an outing for "just us girls" which was her, Mom and I.  She was also good at retelling things that happened...sometimes in a way that would have me laughing.

We really didn't expect her to go so soon...didn't know if dialysis was helping yet, but sure didn't expect THIS!  I won't go into details, as I don't think it's appropriate, but lets just say that something started in the hospital just before she was released...they talked to the doc, who basically said it's nothing, without actually SEEING her...so they sent her home and it got worse.  We called, they didn't seem concerned...and she was gone before the next morning came...less than three days out of the hospital.

While frankly, I think that hospital and the doc is just plain incompetent, Clara was ready to go, she couldn't get up on her own, or see and she didn't want to go back into the hospital, but that won't make it any easier for my brother to deal with loosing her.  It's heart breaking she died so young (52) but all I can say is at least she is at peace now, not in pain and stuck doing nothing because of her blindness and not being able to walk.  God knows what is best and he decided it was time to take her.

She will be laid to rest beside her daughter.

Prayers for my brother would be appreciated.

RIP Clara, I'm glad I got to spend a little more time with you these last few weeks.

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